What is Going on with Olivia?
by latayvia.ross
Summary: Olivia has been going off on people and waking up feeling sick, could it be? Pregnancy? Will Brian be there to support her or will he chose his job over her. (First FanFic) (Long First Chapter Is Long)
1. Chapter 1

Olivia woke up with a nauseas feeling, but brushed it off and got ready for work.

She took a shower and made some coffee.

When she took a drink of her coffee the smell instantly made her sick. Running to the bathroom empting the remains from last nights Chinese food.

The noise woke up Brian. When he realized the noise was coming from Olivia, he ran to the bathroom. He stood there for a second, but soon walks up to her and put her hair up for her and rubbed her back.

When she felt that she was done she sat up but quickly bent back over the toilet.

She felt like she just threw up her guts.

When she was finally done she sat up again, she looked up at Brain who help her up off the floor and got her some water.

She made her way back to the kitchen, she looked pitiful.

"Are you okay, Liv?" Brain asked.

"Yeah, nothing serious." Olivia said

"Maybe you should call in sick today."

"Brain, I can't do that, we are short staff and I'm in charge now."

"Babe, look I don't want you going into work, if-

He was cut off by Olivia yelling.

"Brain, I'm going to work wither you like or not, there is nothing wrong with me. And if it is, it's no worse than a stomach bug!"

He just stared at her in shock the same for her.

She didn't even realize she was yelling until she saw Brains face.

"Oh my, I'm so… so…rry." Olivia stood there in shock, with tears in her eyes.

"Um, it's o…okay."

She turned around and ran to their room and lock the door behind her.

Brain knew not to go and follow her. So he just left her alone in their room.

She soon emerged from their room, dressed and apologized then walked out.

Brain tried to stop her, but she was gone by the time he walked out.

He went back in, and got dressed, and ready for work.

Nick was staring at his partner/boss, as she was staring off into space.

"Hey Liv, you okay?" He asked.

She didn't answer, so he called her about two more times.

She finally looked up.

"Yea, what did you say?"

"I was making sure you were okay, you have been staring off into space."

"Oh yea, everything is fine."

"Ok, whatever you say", he said as he was getting up out of his chair.

She turned around looking furious.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Olivia asked in anger.

"Nothing Olivia, calm down" Nick said in confusion.

"Don't tell me to calm down, if you need to get something off your chest say it now!"

"Olivia." Nick said grabbing Olivia's arm, pulling her to the cribs.

"Don't you touch me." Olivia said, as she pulled her arm away from Amoro's grip.

"What has gotten into you Olivia, I think this promotion has gotten to your head."

"I think you should stop trying to figure out what's wrong and do your damn job!"

Olivia, I can't do that is your yelling at me all the time. Are you still going theropy?

You have no right to question my personal life detective, I think you're out of line.

Excuse me! Are you kidding? You have been off at the mouth since Cragen left and you what. I'm pretty tired of it. Nick said as he walk back to his desk.

Detective Amaro! Detective! Nick.

But he keep walking until he got to his desk and put his head in his hands.

Olivia just sat there dumbfounded when she came back to reality, and tears formed in the back of her eyes.

What is wrong with me! She asked looking up at the ceiling. She knew Nick was right.

When Olivia got home, the dinner table was set up romantically.

Brian walked behind her and started to take off her jacket, and kiss her head.

"Good evening, sweetheart." Brain said as he put her jacket up.

"This is so… beautiful Brain."

Well I hoping you would like it.

Well Brain, I…. Love…. it. Olivia said between kisses."

Brain kissed her back more passionately, the kiss continued and the space between them got smaller and smaller. Olivia's hand made its way from Brian's chest on down. Brian did the same to her back side.

"Are we going to skip dinner and go straight to dessert."

"Well I'm fine with that." Olivia said a with smile catching her breath from their passionate kiss.

"ok, let's get to it." He said as he picked her up and started for the bedroom.

Olivia instantly felt sick by the motion of Brian picking her up.

Brian, wait… let me go. She said as he put her down.

She ran to bathroom and emptied what she had left in her stomach from lunch.

Brian soon lost his appetite for Olivia but went to go support his girlfriend and started rubbing her back. Her hair was already in a messy ponytail, but he didn't bother to mess with it.

She sat up when she was done.

I'm so sorry Brian." Olivia said with tears in her eyes in the verge of tears.

"No baby, it's okay. Maybe you should stay home tomorrow Olivia."

"No, I can't. Please, Brian I'm not in the mood." Olivia said still on the verge of tears."

"Okay Olivia." Brian said still no wanting her to go to work tomorrow.

Olivia got up from the couch. "I'm just going to... uhh, go lay down."

"Go head babe, I'm going to go out the food up." Brian said as he stareted walking to the kitchen.

Olivia look and at him with sorry eyes and said "I'm so sorry" before walking into their bedroom and shutting the door.

Olivia just lied there crying herself to sleep, not understanding what was going on with her for these past few weeks.

She had gone off on Nick, and even went off with Cragen when he called her to congratulate on her promotion, he said "I know how long you've waited for this." And for some reason that just pissed her off.

She has been sick every morning and…..

"No!" she said in disbelief

She was late, she hadn't got her period this month.

But then again she was forty-eight years old.

It could be metapause.

She got up and started to walk out the bedroom, some time had passed and Brian was sleep on the couch so she got her jacket and walked out their apartment

Good evening ma'am, how are you on this fine beautiful night." The lady at the front desk said to Olivia.

"I… I'm fine, thank you."

"Will this be it for you to night?"

"Yes." Olivia said as she grab bag and walked out.

When she got home she couldn't wait and ran to the bathroom.

The comtion cause Brian to wake up and herd Olivia in the bathroom and was fully awake as he ran to the bathroom too.

Hey, Liv baby. You okay? Brian said and Olivia herd the concern in his voice.

"Yea, just using the bathroom." She said and Brian could hear that she was kinda of annoyed.

"Okay, just checking on you."

When she was done, she walk out of the bathroom in their bedroom and Brian was walking out of the one in the hallway in his towel, but when he looked up and saw Olivia he got scared and his towel fell from his waist.

Oh, I'm sorry that I scared you." Olivia said with a big smile on her face, then she looked brains body up and bit her bottom lip.

Brian picked up his towel and covered himself up but look at Olivia as she bit her lip.

"What are you thinking?" He said walking closer to Olivia.

Olivia just kept staring at his body, and Brian walked up to her and kissed her.

Olivia snapped out of her day dreaming and kissed him back.

They soon made their way to the bedroom making passionate love until 3am in the morning falling asleep in each other's hands.

Olivia woke up the next morning smiling as she felt the presences of Brian.

But soon realize that she had a pregnancy test waiting for her in the bathroom.

She got out of the bed slowly and quietly got out of the bed trying not to wake Brian up.

When Olivia got to their bedroom's bathroom she rushed over to the counter and look at the pregnancy tests in shock and confusion.

One of the pregnancy test were negative and two positive.

"What the hell." Olivia said to herself.

She didn't know what to think.

She threw them away and knew she had to go to the doctor, and quick.

"Good morning baby, how are you feeling?" Brian said with concern as he saw how pale Olivia was.

I uh… I'm gonna set a doctor's appointment today. I don't think I'm, uhh… uh, gonna go to work today."

"Do you want me to stay home with you, I can take off work. I think this is pretty serious." Brian was so concern about his girlfriend.

No, I think I just, um… I think I'm fine." Olivia said.

Okay well I'm going to head to work, call me after you get done at your appointment he said as he walked out. He tried to kiss Olivia but she back away.

He walked out the door Olivia tried her hardest to keep whatever she had left in her stomach down but the smell of his coffee made her feel sick again.

After she emptied the rest of her stomach she quickly made her doctor appointment and got ready to go. They let her come in first.

Olivia walked into the OBGYN feeling more nausea than ever before, she looked awful and she knew it to. She tried to hide with makeup but it wasn't working today.

"Hello Miss Benson, how are you this morning?"

"I'm doing fine." She said feeling like she was going to throw up at any moment, she tried not to talk as much but the lady at the front desk kept asking her questions.

So you're here for an ultrasound correct? The lady look up from her computer with the list of clients coming in today.

Ye….. Olivia ran to the bathroom and emptied the few eggs she had this morning.

The lady at the front desk ran behind her to make sure she was okay.

Are you okay Miss Benson? They young lady asked.

Olivia she shook her head yes as she continued to throw up the rest of whatever was left in her stomach.

The Young lady left Olivia to be alone and to get herself cleaned up. Afterwards Olivia stepped out of the bathroom and the lady at the front said that the doctor was ready.

Hey, where is Liv? Nick asked getting a little worried.

I have no clue Fin returned back to nick.

Hey guys, Amanda said as she walked into the squadroom.

Hey, they sad in unisin.

Have you seen or talked to Olivia? Fin asked

Yea, she said she has a doctor's appointment and will be back tomorrow. You know, it has to be pretty serious if she is taking the day off. Amanda said as she went to go sit at her desk.

Yea, it does. Maybe I should call her later. Fin said as he looked over to Olivia's desk.

Olivia Benson, haven't seen you in a while the doctor said as he look at her information sheet.

And it says here that you are getting an ultrasound.

Olivia nodded yes.

Well let's get to it. The doctor said as he put his gloves on.

Well first we are going run some blood and then do the ultra sound.

Olivia nodded again.

You know, you don't talk as much as you use to.

She just shrugged her shoulders; she knew if she was to talk she would throw up everywhere.

A nurse came in and took her blood and soon after that he started the ultrasound.

This gel is going to be a little cold he said before rubbing it on her belly.

She jumped at the cold feeling.

She looked up at the screen she was definitely pregnant but how far along was she because the baby already had legs and feet and arms and hands.

The doctor looked up at the screen and then at Olivia. Are you sure you didn't know you were pregnant.

She nodded her head yes.

Well you are about 4 months. The doctor said.

She just looked at him like he was crazy.

"I don't think that's possible, I have had my period for the past two months.

I did miss it last month but i was late this month.

The doctor just stared at her as if she had two heads.

"Well I'm going to look for a heartbeat" the doctor said putting on new gloves on.

The doctor started to rub her belly with the gel and scan thing.

The doctor kept circling around her stomach but couldn't find a heartbeat, but he could see the baby on the screen but it wasn't moving anymore.

"Miss Benson, I umm… I can't find a heartbeat." The doctor said with a frantic face.

What are you talking about you can't find a heartbeat, the baby is right there. There has to be a heartbeat?!

I um… we are gonna have to run further test.

So, do I have a dead baby inside of me? It's that what you're going to be running test on?

The heart beat could just be weak, just because I cant I find it doesn't mean the baby is dead Miss Benson.

Olivia just lost it.

STOP CALLING ME THAT, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CANT CALL ME OLIVIA, AND JUST TELL ME IS THIS BABY IS DEAD OR NOT.

The doctor stayed calm and said, Olivia the heartbeat could be weak even though you're at high risk because of your age.

Olivia was about to yell but caught herself.

Do I need to do the test today?

No, not unless you want to.

I um, I would like to seclude for a different time.

Ok, well the nurse will talk to you at the front desk.

After that he left Olivia to be alone.

She cleaned her belly off and put her shirt down, but before she did she look at the mirror that was hanging on the wall. Her belly was actually getting a little bump. How could she not notice that?

She secluded an appointment for Saturday morning and made her way home.

When Olivia got home she went to the bed and cried herself to sleep, she wanted to be held by Brian but of course he was at work like she should have been.

When Brian got home he went to their bedroom to find Olivia sleep on the bed with the cover off the couch over her.

He tried to be as quiet as possible, not to wake her.

But then he dropped his bag and made a big noise and Olivia jump up out of her sleep and held her gun from under her pillow at Brian.

Gosh Brian, you scared the hell out of me. Olivia said trying to stay calm.

I'm sorry baby. Brian said sympathetically.

Olivia looked up at Brian and remembered how much she needed him today.

She just broke down in hysterical cries.

Brian ran over to her and just held her in his arms, even though he was confused.

Olivia are you okay?

Olivia just kept crying and Brian just held till they went to sleep.

Olivia woke up the next morning rushing to the bathroom to empty he stomach and woke up Brian.

Brian did the usual and rubbed her back till she was done.

Are you going to work today? Brian asked.

No, I think I'm going to stay home today. Olivia said as she got up.

Can you please stay with me, please? Olivia said with pleading eyes.

Brian thought he was going to break down in tears when he looked into her eyes.

Of course I will baby. Brian said as he hugged her but let her go so he could call Tucker to let him know he wasn't coming in.

Hello? Tucker said?

Hey, it's Brian I just wanted to let you kn-

He was cut off by Tucker.

I know who it is Brian, I have caller I.D.

Oh, well I wont be coming into work today bec-

He was cut off yet again by Tucker.

Is that a question or a statement?

I um, I ju-

You are coming into work today because we need you.

Olivia is sick I need to be here to take care of her.

Olivia is a grown woman, she can take care of herse-

I'm her boyfriend and I will be here for


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia was lying in the bed when Brian got back in the room.

"Well I called Tucker and told him I wasn't coming into work today." Brian said with a little disappointment in his voice.

Olivia sat up quickly in the bed.

"So you can't stay home today?" Olivia was starting to get worried. She needed Brian to be here to hold her.

"No, I just might not have a job when I go back."

"Brian I don't want you to lose your job because of me. You worked so hard for this."

"No baby." Brian said as he was walking towards the bed and cuddle up with Liv.

"I want to take care of you ok. I want to help make you better." He said as he kissed her forehead. 

Olivia just sat there letting out a loud sigh.

"I'm not sick Brian."

Brian looked up at her in confusion.

"So what you're telling me is that I might just have lost my job for no reason."

Brian looked down at her and smiled.

"No because I'm pregnant."

"Olivia called in sick again, man this has got to be serious." Fin said as he put the phone.

"She's been acting kind of strange lately." Nick said looking up from his paper work.

"Guys, she might just need a break. I mean we have been on her tail since she got her promotion, how much you want to bet she will be back tomorrow."

"No, I say Monday." Fin said looking at Amanda.

"Ok, it's a bet… $30." Amanda reached over and shook Fin's hand.

"I can't believe you area betting on Liv, AGAIN." Nick gets up and walks over to them. "You know you lost the bet with Munch about her and Brian right or did you forget."

"No, I didn't but I got a good feeling that she is tired and want be back till Monday."

"Ok, whatever you say"

Brian just looked at her is shock.

"We are having a baby?" Brian said in a little disappointed voice.

"You don't sound happy about that."

"Well you know we both have full time jobs Olivia." Brian got kind of loud out of nowhere.

"I think I notice that Brian, maybe you should have put a condom on."

"Do you think I was actually thinking about that, plus I thought you couldn't get pregnant?"

"Are being serious right now Brian. You thought that I was going through menopause?" Then Olivia's voice was starting to get louder. "Maybe you should have gone to work. I needed you here to hold me and tell me we're going to make good parents, but instead you're getting mad, how about you go to work and leave me alone."

"I'm not leaving you alone; you obviously need me right now."

That just made Olivia even madder. Brian just wasn't saying anything right.

I don't need you Brian, if you don't go to work then I will.

Olivia got up off the bed and got some clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She got ready was about to leave but stopped at the door.

"You know Brian, I might have a dead baby inside of me… I don't even know if it's alive, I hope you're happy." Then Olivia walked out trying to hold back the tears but failed. Right when she shut the door she broke down in tears and fell to her knees.

Brian could hear her on the other side of the door. So he opened the door and went out and hugged her. She fell into his arms and cried.

After a while he picked her up and took her inside.

"Olivia what happened at that doctor's appointment?"

Olivia looked up at him with a tear stained face.

"I think the baby is dead but the doctor won't tell me. He claims it could be a weak heartbeat. But Bri, the baby wasn't moving. I have to go back tomorrow for another appointment."

"I'm sorry baby" Brian said trying to hide his relief.

"I just want to go to bed." Olivia said pulling away from Brian.

"Babe, you just woke up." Brian said trying to pull her back into a hug.

"I'm not going to sleep, I'm just lying down Bri, let me go."

"Ok, fine. Brian put her down and watched as she went to their bedroom and didn't come back for the rest of the day.

When she finally emerged from their bedroom it was obvious that she had fallen asleep.

"I thought you said that you weren't going to sleep?"

"Well I wasn't planning on it until I just cried myself to sleep."

"Oh, well I could have been there to hold you. I made dinner if you want any."

"I think I'm going to head down to the prescient to get my mind off of tomorrow."

"I don't think that is a good idea Olivia."

"Brian please don't." Olivia put her hand up, as she kisses Brian and walks out the door.

Olivia walk into the 1-6 prescient seeing all the detectives sitting at their desk.

"What are y'all still doing here its 10:30pm, do I really need to be here to tell you guys to go home?" Olivia looked around to everybody.

Nick looks over to Fin and Amanda.

"So who owes who money?"

"Well since she came back before tomorrow and before Monday, the bet is off." Fin said looking over to Amanda.

"Unbelievable." Olivia muttered while walking to her desk.

Nick looked up at Olivia. "So why are you here?"

"I just needed to get my mind off of things, so I came down here to do some paper work."

"Is everything ok Liv?"

"Yea, everything is fine."

Olivia got to work and didn't come back home till around 5 o clock the next morning.

When she got home Brian was sleep on the couch, so she went to the bedroom and got an hour or two worth of sleep.

When she woke up the next morning Brian had already gotten ready for the doctor's appointment today. He made Olivia a beagle and juice.

She ate it when she got out of the shower.

"Good morning beautiful." Brian kissed her on the forehead.

"Good morning."

"We have to leave soon if you want to be on time."

"Well, I'm ready now."

"Let's get er' done. Brian said as he walked out of the apartment. When they got into the car Brian's phone went off and he looked up at Olivia.

"Answer it." Olivia said

"Hello?"

"Brian you get your ass down here now, I don't care if Olivia is sick. She is a grown woman she can take of herself." Tucker said in anger.

Olivia could here every word that he said and bit her lip.

"Go, I will drive myself."

Brian hung up the phone and got out of the car with even saying bye and left to go to work.

When they got there the doctor was waiting for Olivia.

"Good morning Olivia, How are you today?" The doctor got up from the chair.

"I'm doing fine, thank you."

"I thought you were bringing Brian?"

"He can't make it." Olivia looked up looking a little annoyed.

"Oh, well it's a good idea for him to be he-"

"Can we just get started?"

"Of course." The doctor got up out his gloves and got the gel. "I hope you remember this is cold."

Olivia just nodded then he put the cold gel on her. She didn't move at all.

"Okay so that's the baby an-"

The doctor looked up the baby was in the same place that it was at the last appointment and still no heartbeat.

"Have you felt any movement in the abdomen? Like kicking or moving around maybe?" The doctor looked kind of worried.

"Umm, no I haven't." Olivia knew what was coming up next.

"I'm sorry to inform you that your baby has not moved since the last appointment." The doctor hands her the ultrasound from today and the one from the last appointment."

Olivia looks at them from a moment and tries to fight back the tears. When she leans over to hand him back the pictures she feels a sharp pain in her abdomen.

She sits back fast and holds on to her belly.

"Are you okay Olivia?" The doctor looked even more worried.

"No, I feel like somebody is stabbing in my stomach."

"Lie back down, let me take a look." The doctor got back out the scan thing and moved it around her belly. They started hearing a little tiny heartbeat.

"Oh my, I think I was wrong." The doctor looked at Olivia almost in tears while Olivia just had them coming down her face one by one.

"So is the baby dead or alive?" Olivia was starting to get irritated after a while because she felt like they were playing a game with her.

"Well, there is a heartbeat but it's still not moving."

"But what about the pain that was just in my stomach?"

"Maybe we missed it? Your baby is tricky, but it's definitely alive."

"So is this appointment over cause I just want to go home."

Yea, but before you leave I want you to go to the nurse and set appointments. You have to start having regular ultrasound appointments, and I would like it if Brian was here for every one of them."

"Well that's not possible, but I will try to make him come to everyone that is possible for him to come to." Olivia got up off the table cleaned her belly of and walked to go talk to the nurse. After that she went home and called Brian.

"Hey baby, is now a good time?" Olivia sounded so happy.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Well I went to the appointment and the baby has a heartbeat, but we never caught him in action." Olivia laughed a little.

After she said that Brian sighed and Olivia heard it.

"Well that's great Olivia, you're going to make a good mom."

"We are going to make good parents Brian. I don't understand what the problem is about having kids. I thought you wanted kids?"

"I do, just not right now"

"Well it what have to been soon Brian. You remember what you said right? You said you thought I couldn't have kids."

"Look I got to go. We can tal-"

Olivia hung up the phone and called her therapist.


	3. How Do You Fell Olivia?

"Hello Olivia, how are you today?"

"I'm actually am not fine."

The therapist was surprised by her honesty.

"What's been going on?"

"I ah, I'm pregnant."

The therapist looked up from his notes and looked at her in shock.

"Umm, congratulations Olivia!"

"The thing is Brian is not happy about it. He is trying to hide is disappointment but he is not doing that to well."

"Well let's not talk about how Brian feels about it, I want to talk about how you feel about it?"

"I'm just happy that, that door is still open."

"And what do you mean by that."

Olivia looked at him a little annoyed not wanting to say what she meant.

"I uh, I mean come on. I'm forty eight years old."

"While yeah." The doctor paused for a minute.

"To be honest with you, my mom had me when she was fifty five years old."

Olivia looked dumbed founded.

"Oh, o… okay, but I have a full time job and so does Brian."

"Again Olivia we are here to talk about you."

"But I feel that is Brian is my baby's father then he should be free to tell me what he thinks."

"He is, but when we are here I want you to tell how you feel, and is you feel as if you need to tell me how Brian feels you should bring him to the next session."

Olivia felt as if he we getting an attitude and it was pissing her off.

"I will if that will make you happy."

"That would be great Olivia."

He wasn't picking up on what Olivia felt so he acted as normal.

"I really have to go, but thank for meeting with me a last minute."

Olivia got up and walked out.

When Olivia got home all she wanted was a glass of some wine.

Forgetting she was pregnant she poured her a glass and drunk almost half of the glass.

When she came back to reality she spit the rest of the wine in the sink.

She got a water bottle out of the refrigerator and went to go watch t.v. waiting on Brian to come but that never happened.

When Olivia woke at 3:00am she went to go check their bedroom thinking Brian might be in there because he didn't want to wake her when she got home.

When she went into their bedroom he wasn't there and she started to get worried so she called him but got voicemail.

"Maybe he stayed at work that was a pretty nasty fight we got in."

Olivia said to herself as she went to get ready for bed and fell fast asleep.

When Olivia woke up she heard banging at her door.

She tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes as she made her way to the door. She looked out of the peephole to see it was Fin and Nick.

"What are you doing here this early in the morning?"

"Well, first of all its 11:00am and second. It's Brian, he got into a car accident he is at Mercy." Fin said in Panic.

Before Fin had time to ask anything else Olivia was getting her coat and keys and was heading to her car.

"Olivia I don't think it's a good idea for you to drive." Nick said running after her.

Olivia ignored him and got into her car and drove off to Mercy's.

Olivia opened her door before she even turned the car off.

She ran in and asked for Brian Cassidy.

"Oh, uhhh… Brian Cassidy." The nurse at the front desk looked through the list.

"He is in ICU, who are you to ?"

"I'm his girlfriend, can I see him?"

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart, you have to be his spouse or listed as next to ken."

"Look here lady… I have his baby inside of me. You're going to let me see him."

Just as she finished her sentence Nick and Fin came in.

"Whoa, Olivia calm down, what's going on?"

"She won't let me see Brian."

"Look ma'am, this lady right here." He points to Olivia. "Is Brian Cassidy's baby mama so I suggested you let her see him."

Fin also lefts up his badge and the lady points to the room he is in without another word.

When Olivia walked into Brian's room she was not prepared to see what she saw.

TBC most definitely! Write and Review please. Tell what you think.


	4. Briiaann

"_Look ma'am, this lady right here." He points to Olivia. "Is Brian Cassidy's baby mama so I suggested you let her see him."_

_Fin also lefts up his badge and the lady points to the room he is in without another word._

When Olivia walked into Brian's room she was not prepared to see what she saw.

"Oh my…" Olivia's face got pale as she saw Brian just lying there looking lifeless.

She ran up to him with tears already forming in her eyes.

"Brian I'm so sorry"

With no response she just sat there hugging Brian's hand crying her eyes out.

After a while she fell asleep only to be awakened a couple minutes later by a nurse walking in.

When she saw her she sat up quickly.

"Nobody is telling me anything. Can you please tell me something, what happened?"

"Oh, well he got into a car accident." The nurse looked at Olivia with sympathetic eyes.

"I know, but was it his fault, did somebody hit him? I… is he going to be okay?"

"Look darling, I'm not supposed to tell you this but." The nurse grabbed Olivia's hand and looked her in the eye. "His blood alcohol level was .14 he was over the legal limit; he drove off the road down a hill. I'm sorry, but I promise it's not as bad as it looks."

Olivia just sat there looking off into space.

"So, how bad is it?"

"Some deep cuts but they are all stitch up, a few minor injuries. His left arm is broken and his brain is a little swollen so we are going to keep him in a medically induced coma."

"Ummm, thank you." Olivia let go of her hand.

"Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this so when the doctor comes in here just act like you didn't." The nurse got up and walked out after checking Brian's fluids.

"How is Liv holding up?" Amanda looked up from her work as Nick and Fin walked into the 1-6.

"Uh, she's a wreck." Nick walked over to Amanda and handed her coffee.

"I haven't seen her this bad since the trial." Fin said

"Well that is her boyfriend, I would be freaking out to if-"

Amanda stopped mid-way in her sentence.

Fin looked up from his desk. "If who?"

"Nobody Fin."

Nick just sat back and didn't say anything.

The doctor walked into Brian's hospital room.

"Good afternoon Olivia."

"Good afternoon doctor. Can you tell me what's going on?

Even though Olivia knew what happened, she wanted to hear it from the doctor.

"I can't tell you because you are not blood nor legally related to Brian."

"I have his baby inside of me."

"That still doesn't make you family until you actually have the baby not unless you get married before you have to the baby, therefore I called his mom and she will be down here tomorrow."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"I'm serious and I'm sorry but you have to leave after visiting hours."

Olivia sat there not believing the words that just came out of her doctor's mouth.

"Okay." Olivia didn't say anything else. She just grabbed Brian's hand and rubbed his hair while lying down on his chest.

"Hey, I'm going to check on my partner, you guys have a goodnight." Nick said on his way out of the 1-6.

"Aye, let me know how she is holding up when you get there." Fin said waving at Nick.

"I will."

"Bye Nick." Amanda said as she grinned.

Fin seemed to take notice.

When Nick walked in Olivia was walking out.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I'm just checking on you Olivia. You are leaving?"

"Yea, they won't let me stay after visiting hours."

"Why, aren't you on the list as next to ken?"

"Nope." Olivia started walking towards her car.

"I'm sorry Liv. Aye is Brian going to be okay?"

"He is going to be fine." Olivia forced a smile.

"Oh, ok. You let me know if you need anything Olivia, please."

"I will." Olivia looked up trying to keep back the tears in her eyes.

Nick Noticed and brought her into a hug.

As soon as he did Olivia broke down into hysterical cries.

"It will be okay Olivia, everything is going to be okay."

When Olivia finished she looked up at Nick.

"I'm sorry Nick, I didn't mean l didn't mean to break down like that."

"Don't apologize Liv." Nick wiped the rest of her tears off her face.

Olivia nodded and got into her car and drove home.

Tossing and turning the whole night.

She was awoken by the baby kicking and she started to cry, forgetting completely that she was pregnant.

"Hey little on, I'm sorry I keep forgetting about you."

The baby reposed by kicking her.

"Uh, oww." Olivia laughed through tears.


	5. Truth Be Told

Olivia was awakened by her phone going off. She rolled over and answered right away noticing that it was the hospital.

"Benson."

On the other line was Brian's doctor.

"Good morning Miss Benson, I just wanted to call you and tell that Brian is awake and is asking for you."

"Really, h… he's awake?"

"Yes and he wants you here with him right now."

"Okay, I will be there in no more than 10 minutes."

"Ok, I will be sure to let him know." The doctor smiled and told Brian what Olivia said.

"So, why didn't Olivia stay the night?" Brian tried to sit up in the bed, but was stopped by his doctor.

"I couldn't let her, it's against hospital rules."

"That's my girlfriend and you didn't let her stay?" Brian was starting to get upset.

"Brian I need you to calm down, I don't want you stressing out."

"Really, then you should have let Olivia stay last night."

"Brian, she was not listed as next to ken so I couldn't."

"Well give me a paper or something so I can list her."

"I will do that as soon as Olivia gets here. She will have to sign the paper too."

"Well that sounds good to me." After sitting there in silence for a while Brian felt a little bad for going off on the doctor. "Look I'm sorry I didn't mean to go off on you like that, I'm under a lot of stress right now."

"It's okay. I completely understand."

Olivia ran to Brian's room right when she got into the hospital.

"Oh my gosh, Brian I'm so glad you're okay."

Brian winced in pain when she hugged him.

"Baby could you losing the hug a little."

"Oh I'm sorry." Olivia let go of him and sat in the chair beside of him.

"Brian has some papers that he wants you to sign." The doctor got up out of the chair he was sitting in and handed them to Olivia.

Olivia read through them and then looked at Brian.

"You want me to be on your next to kin list." Olivia got a little emotional because of pregnancy hormones. "Of course I will sign these."

Brian just looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you okay Olivia?" Brian asked because he noticed that Olivia was getting teary eyed.

"Oh yea, just hormones" Olivia and the doctor laugh a little but Brian just looked at her.

"Oh ok." Brian had forgotten all about the pregnancy.

Olivia noticed that his sudden change in mood. "So your mom will be here by noon and she is going to call me when she gets off the plane."

"My mom is coming? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Brian please calm down." The doctor started to get worried about Brian again with the sudden mood swings.

"Well they wouldn't let me stay last night because I wasn't listed as next to ken so they called your mom up to come stay with you last night, but the only flight that was open was for early this morning." 

For some reason this calmed Brian down. "Oh ok." Brian lied back down in his bed.

After that Olivia looked at the doctor with a can-you-give-us-a-minute look, so her walked out and let them talk.

"Brian can you tell what happened?"

What do you mean?" Brian looked from the TV to Olivia.

"How did you end up here, in a hospital bed with a concussion?"

"I got into a car wreck." Brian looked back at the TV after he said that.

"Brian, was it your fault… did someone hit you? Did you hit somebody?"

"No, someone hit me from behind and I looked back to see who it was and I wasn't paying attention and drove off the road down a hill."

Olivia was almost in tears knowing that Brain was lying to her. "Brain, you and I both know that's a lie."

"Olivia, how would you know? They didn't even tell you anything."

Olivia knew she promised to say anything but she hated to be lied to. "A nurse told me about your car accident"

"Look I'm sorry for lying but I didn't want you to get mad at me."

"Why would you drink and drive Brian, this could put your job in jeopardy. You put your life and many others in jeopardy."

"I know, I just have been under a lot of stress lately."

Olivia laughed a little.

" You're not the only one Brian. I have to watch over grown up people like they are in kindergarten, I have a baby inside of me, I have a full time job and a lot of other stuff to. But do you see me going out and getting drunk and driving? No you don't. You should have called me Brain. I don't know how in the hell I would raise a child without having you with me."

"That's what got me in the hospital in the first place."

Olivia looked at him in shock witch soon became anger. "Are you blaming this on the baby Brian? Are you really blaming your dumbass actions on the baby?"

"Yes actually, because that baby is causing stress on me and you, and that's why we are arguing all the time."

"You should have put on a condom Brian. I sat there and stopped you before we did anything and asked you did you want to put one on and you said no."

"Olivia if you were me you would have said no to because that was not what I was thinking about at the time."

"Well look where it got you."

"Is the baby even mine? We haven't had sex in like a month." Brian counted on his fingers. "Yep, since the trail."

Olivia just sat there for a second. "Brian I would never cheat on you." Olivia got up out of her chair and walked out with tears streaming down her face. On her way out she was stopped by the doctor.

"Hey, heading out so s-." He stopped when he saw tears running down her face. "Olivia are you okay?"

"Yea I uhh… I got to get to work."

"Umm, ok." The doctor didn't want to hold her any longer.

Olivia walked into the 1-6 looking pitiful and everyone seemed to notice but didn't say anything.

"Hey Olivia, how is Brian doing?" Nick looked up from his paper work when he saw Olivia sit down at her desk.

Olivia seemed to be in a daze and didn't even hear what Nick said.

"Olivia, Liv… Liv!"

"Oh I'm sorry what did you say?"

"How is Brian?"

"Oh… he woke up this morning."

"Oh, is he okay?"

"Yep."

"Are you sure?"

"Why do you care so much? You don't even like Brian."

"Well he is like family now, the past is the past. As long as you two are together then we will always be family."

"Well that might not last much longer." Olivia mumbled but nick heard what she said.

"What are you talking about Liv?"

Olivia got a call about a victim at mercy. "Nick and Fin I want you two to go get the suspect and Amanda I want you to go talk to the victim."

"We already have a suspect?" Nick looked at Olivia in confusion.

"Yea."

"That was easy, let's got then." Fin said as him Amanda and Nick walked out of the 1-6.

Olivia stayed behind and made a very important phone call.

"Good afternoon. Women's center of New York, how may I help you?"

"Uhh, yes. I would like to seclude an appointment for an abortion."

TBC! Please leave an review.


	6. Break Up or Make Up

When the detectives got back from the field, they filled Liv in about their new case.

"The victim was found by an alley near by the hospital during the rape. The witness that found them tackled the attacker down and called for help. Some nurses came and took our victim up to get examined. She wouldn't talk to anyone but Amanda got through to her and got her to do a rape kit." Fin was almost out of breath when he finished.

"Good job Amanda!" Olivia looked over to her.

"Well we have the suspect in interrogation room 3 and the victim is still as mercy. They want her to stay overnight." Nick said.

"Do you mind if I do the interrogated the suspect. He seems a little intimidated by women." Amanda said with a slight grin.

"Only if you have your partner watching in, and Nick can you do the paper work?"

"I will get right to it boss." Nick saluted Olivia.

Amanda and Fin walked out to go interrogated the suspect.

When Olivia got to her desk she look at the time on her computer and then her phone ranged.

"Oh shit… Brian's mom."

Nick noticed that she was about to have a panic attack. "You okay Liv?"

"No, I have to go pick up Brian's mom from the airport."

"I will tell Amanda and Fin when they get back in here, you go take care of your business."

"Ok, thank you Nick." Olivia said on her way out of the precinct.

When Olivia arrived, Brian's mom was standing outside waiting on her. Olivia was immediately hit with guilt knowing it was freezing outside.

Olivia opened the door before she was even in park.

"Hi Mrs. Cassidy, I'm so sorry I'm late."

"Oh no dear, no need to appoligize it's alrgiht."

Olivia grab her bags and put them in the back of her car.

When she was done she got back in the car and gave Brian's mom a hug.

"It's been awhile since I have seen you."

"Yes, I know dear, how have you been since the assault."

Brian's mom has always been straight forward with people.

"I umm, I have been doing pretty well."

"That's good to hear."

Brian's mom looked over to Olivia and knew something was wrong.

"Would you like to talk to me about it dear?"

"Talk about what?" Olivia looked at her in confusion.

"I can see it in your face, what's wrong?"

"Oh. Nothing I can't handle."

"Is it Brian? I will get him if you want me to."

Olivia looked at the older woman and smiled.

"I promise that I can handle it."

"Ok dear."

They sat in silence for the rest of the ride.

Brian's mom had fallen to sleep on their way to the hospital and Olivia was hit with another wave of guilt knowing she would have to wake her up.

"Hey Mrs. Cassidy. We are here."

She was a light sleeper so she woke up the moment Olivia nudge her.

"Oh, I'm sorry for falling asleep on you Olivia."

"Oh, it's okay"

When they were walking to Brian's room Olivia was so nervous it was making her feel sick.

When they got into his room he was sitting up with his bag packed signing some papers.

"Mom, it's so good to see you"

"Hey son, I have missed you so much."

"I missed you to ma."

Olivia went to go sit in a chair as far away from Brian as possible. Brian's mom took notice of this and of course said something.

"What's going on with you two?"

"Nothing ma." Brian tried his hardest to sound reassuring.

"Something is going on with you two, and I don't know what it is but you two need to short it out and quick. I'm not staying with you two if you're going to act like this the whole time."

Olivia spoke up quickly with a smile on her face.

"Brian are you getting released this early?"

Brian decided to play along.

"Yea bae."

"Oh, do I need to talk to your doctor?"

"No, I think I will have my mom talk to him because she will be with me."

"Well she can come with me, it's not like she is going to be at work all the time." Brian's mom jumped in.

"Whatever ma."

Olivia and Brian's mom walked out of the room to go talk to the doctor and when they came back Brian was already to go.

When they go to the car Olivia's phone went off. She answered while getting into the car.

When she hung up she looked at them with pitty eyes.

"I'm so sorry, but I have to get back to work as soon as I drop you guys off."

"I told you mom. She is going to be at work all the time."

"Brian you have no nerve to be talking I would go to sleep countless nights by myself."

Brian didn't have anything to say and Brian's mom was surprised by Olivia's sudden outburst.

Olivia didn't say anything else but drove furiously home.

When they got there Olivia just sat there and waited for them to get out the car then realized Brian's mom was in the back so she got out and took them up to the apartment.

"Make yourself at home, I will be back tonight." Olivia said walking out.

When Olivia got back to work she saw Sitting in what is now her office. She looked around to everyone but they had nothing to say. She walked to her office not knowing what she did this time.

"Olivia please come in."

Olivia looked at him like he was stupid. He was telling her to come in when it's her office.

"Can I help you tucker." Olivia went and sat down at her chair behind the desk because it felt good to have Tucker sitting in her office.

"I have word that two of your detectives are in a relationship."

Olivia looked in shock. "Who?"

"Detective Nick Amaro and Detective Amanda Rollins."

Tucker had a smile on his face.

"Do you think this is funny Tucker?" Olivia got pissed.

"No but you need to handle this and quickly." Tucker got up out of the seat he was in and left.

Olivia got up when she saw that Tucker got on the elevator.

"Amaro and Rollins my office!"

They got up and knew what was coming.

When they into the office Amanda shout the door behind her.

"Uh, yea. What do you need?"

"Do you know what tucker just told me?"

They acted like they had no clue.

"Are you two in a relationship?"

Nick was the first to speak up. "No, we just… jus-"

"Just what Nick?"

"We got drunk one night and we woke up beside each other, we don't remember anything from that night though. For all we know nothing happened." Amanda tried to lighten the mood.

"Amanda, this could cost you your jobs. You do know that right?"

They both shook their heads.

"Well we thought if we just forgot about it and acted like nothing happened then nobody would find out."

Olivia felt as if she was going to lose her mind, she had tears in the back of her eye's but held them in not wanting to break down in front of her coworkers.

"Ok, just… I will fix this." Olivia looked up at them in defeat. "Until further notice I will not be pairing you to together and till this is all over."

They both nodded and left.

By the time Liv got done with all her paper work its was almost 11:00pm. When she left everyone else was gone so she locked up and headed home.

When she got home she didn't want to be bothered so she made her a pad on the couch and cried until she heard someone walking into the living room.

She tried to wipe her tears as best she could themsat up to see who it was and it was Brian's mom.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Oh nothing I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No I was up when you came in, but then I heard you crying."

"Oh, well I didn't mean to disturb you."

"Nonsense honey, tell me what's going on?"

"Uhhh… I'm not…. Uhh sure I should… te.. tell you… but i..im pergant."

"That's great Olivia, so what's the problem?"

"Brian doesn't want it, and his feelings and my feelings keep getting us into bad augments."

"Olivia there is nothing you can do now. No matter how Brian feels, the baby is already in you and I hope you don't plan on having it aborted?"

"Uhh, no of course not." Olivia was hit with guilt for lying.

"What else is there?"

"Just life. I feel like I'm not doing as good as I could be doing and I try to do better but it's no working and I feel like I failed Brian and with this new promotion I feel like I failed my team. Now I feel like if I don't get it together I'm going to fail this baby and turn out to be a bad mother."

By the end of Olivia' story she was ballin' her eyes out and she was embarrassed because she was ballin' her eyes out in front of her boyfriend's mom.

While she was crying Brian's mom held her in her arms. This all Olivia needed, for someone to hold her and tell her she was going to make a great mom. Olivia fell asleep in Brian's mom's arms. So Mrs. Cassidy slept on the couch not wanting to bother Olivia's rest because by the looks of her eye's she wasn't getting much of it.

When Olivia awoke the next morning she realized Mrs. Cassidy had left her on the couch, but Olivia didn't mind. When she looked down at her phone to see what time it was, she jumped and got ready. If she didn't leave soon she was going to miss her appointment.

When she got out of the shower she smelled coffee and she did a U-turn back to the bathroom to throw up her dinner from yesterday. This didn't go unnoticed by Mrs. Cassidy so she went to go make sure Olivia was okay.

By the time she got to the bathroom Olivia was already rinsing out her mouth and washing her hands.

"Must be morning sickness I'm guessing?"  
Olivia looked up at her and nodded. "Looked about last night I-."

Mrs. Cassidy cut her off. "It is fine Olivia."

"Could you please not say anything to Brian?"

"Of course not."

With that Olivia nodded and walked out.

When Olivia got to her appointment she felt nothing but guilty for lying to Mrs. Cassidy. She wasn't even sure if she could get an abortion, she was already 4months. She knew they would say no she needed to hear it from the doctor so she could tell Brian he would have to accept it but most of all she would to.

When the lady called Olivia she was in a daze, so the nurse called her about three more times and decided to just walk up to her.

"Miss Benson, the doctor is ready for you."

"Oh, thank you."

When she got back there she thought she was going to throw up.

"Hello Miss Benson, how are you today?"

"I'm doing fine, how about you? She forced a smile on her face.

"I'm delightful."

"Ok, can we get started?"

"Of Course we can Miss Benson." The doctor looked through his paper for Olivia. "It says you want an abortion?"

"Uh, yes."

"Can you tell me why?"

"The baby is not wanted in my relationship."

"Well do you want the baby?"

"I don't know anymore."

"Well it also says that you are four months. I think you already know we can't give you a _legal_ abortion." He empathized legal.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"So what you're telling me is I have to keep the baby?"

"Looks like you don't have a choice now. You're too far along.

When Olivia got home she found Mrs. Cassidy sitting on the couch.

"Hey, where is Brian?

"He is in the room, you should go talk to him."

Olivia knew she was right so she walked into the room and went to cuddle up with Brian.

"I'm sorry Brian."

Brian was completely confused because he should have been the one to be apologizing not Liv.

"About what babe, what's wrong?" Concerned hit him when he saw the tears in her eyes.

"They said they can't do anything about the baby and that we're stuck with it, but I mean we can give it up for adoption, I just don't want this to mess up what we have worked so hard to build.

"Liv, no matter how bad are fights are we will always be together. Nothing can mess up this relationship and I thought about it. Maybe we a baby is what we need right now to bring us joy."

"Are you serious?" Olivia looked up at him with a little smile on her face.

"As a heart attack."

Olivia kissed him and Brian held onto Olivia tight.

"Olivia."

"Hmmm?"

"Would you have gotten the abortion if it wasn't too late;


	7. Relax Benson

"_They said they can't do anything about the baby and that we're stuck with it, but I mean we can give it up for adoption, I just don't want this to mess up what we have worked so hard to build._

"_Liv, no matter how bad are fights are we will always be together. Nothing can mess up this relationship and I thought about it. Maybe we a baby is what we need right now to bring us joy."_

"_Are you serious?" Olivia looked up at him with a little smile on her face._

"_As a heart attack."_

_Olivia kissed him and Brian held onto Olivia tight._

"_Olivia."_

"_Hmmm?"_

"_Would you have gotten the abortion if it wasn't too late?_

Olivia looked up at Brian. "I don't know, this is all just confusing me."

"If you were to get an abortion, I wanted it to be your decision. Not because of what I thought."

"Brian, it's… it ummm, I think I would have been able to go through with it." Olivia looked up him almost in tears.

"It would have not messed up this relationship thought, even if it wasn't too late I would have stuck by your side." Brian gave Liv a slight smile.

"Brian since I have been truthful with you. I want you to be truthful with me."

"Well you were semi truthful with me Liv."

"I just need to know though, it's been bothering me since the argument we had at the hospital."

"Witch one?" Brian did a little chuckle.

"Bri, I'm serious."

"Okay, shot."

"Do you really think that I would cheat on you, if anything I would think you were cheating on me?"

"Liv, honestly I was in the heat of the moment"

"Ok." Olivia just sat there silently.

"Why, would I be cheating on you? Why would you think that?"

"Because after the trail I went back to my "don't touch me" mood, and if you are not getting it from me then you're getting from somebody else."

"Babe, I will stand by you no matter how you are feeling, and I would never betray you like that."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

Brian let out a little laugh. "I think you got it backwards."

For the rest of the day they lied in each other's arms until Olivia's stomach made a huge growl.

"Are you hungry detective?" Brian said with a smile.

"Starving."

They got up and walked out the door to make something to eat but when they got in the hallway they were hit with the smell of homemade biscuits and baked chicken.

"Oh, it smells so good." Olivia looked like she was in a day dream.

"Mom, did you make all this?"

"Well yes baby. It's Valentine's Day so I set up a nice dinner and I want you two to enjoy. I have some old friends I need to catch up with. " Mrs. Cassidy said on her way out the door.

"Awww, you really shouldn't have done this, Brian would hav-."

"Oh honey, it was nothing." Mrs. Cassidy walked out the apartment and went to go meet with her friends.

The next day Olivia walked in to see her detectives acting strangely happy.

"Did I miss something, or did everybody just have a good Valentine's Day?"

"Oh mine was great." Nick said looking over at Amanda.

Amanda tried her hardest not to giggle but failed completely.

"Uh, mines was alright." Fin said not even looking up from his paper work.

"Ok, well then I guess we get to work on some paperwork and can I see you in my office Rollins?"

"Yea, sure Liv."

When Amanda got into the office she shut the door behind her. She sat in the chair in front of Olivia and looked at her waiting for her to say something.

"So, are you in Nick still having a relationship?"

"We never had a relationship Olivia."

"Then what was it a one night stand?"

"I don't know, I can't remember."

"Amanda. IAB is on my ass about this and if there is something going on with you and Nick I need to know." Olivia was still calm, but she was about to lose it.

"Liv… we went out last night to a bar. Nothing serious, a few after work. Maybe we had one to many and I ended up in his apartment this morning."

"Amanda, that's against the rules. You know I have to suspend the both of you."

"I never said anything happened."

"You didn't have to Amanda." Liv was starting to lose her temper. "I mean how dumb do you think I am? You go out have some drinks and you wake up in Amaro's bed. Even a five year old could figure out that you had sex with him last night. You're a pretty good damn detective and I don't want to lose you over a one night stand, your better than that."

"Liv, I'm sorry."

"Tell Amaro to get in here please. Your suspended with pay."

"We are short staff, this isn't going to work."

"Can you p-." Olivia started yelling but caught herself before she finished the sentence. "Please go get Amaro and tell him to come in here."

"Ok." Amanda walked out and got Amaro. "Nick Liv wants you."

Nick got up Knowing what was coming. When he walked in he shut the door.

"Look, Amanda told me it wasn't a good idea so don't suspend her just suspend me."

"Nick I'm suspending both of you. If I find out that any sexual intercourse goes on during the week your suspended, God so help me."

"What Olivia, what are you going to do?"

Olivia was surprised by his sudden outburst.

"Nick you need to calm down."

"Yea, it doesn't feel good to get a taste of your own medicine."

"Nick what are you talking about?"

"Your sudden outburst on people, or have you not noticed. All this power you have over us is going to your head."

"Nick what does this have to do with you sleeping with Amanda?" Liv got louder matching Nick's voice.

"Because you don't know what you're doing, you can't suspend us because then it will only be you and Fin. We need Cragen back because you have no clue how to run things."

"Nick…. Get out." Olivia managed to calm herself.

"You need hel-."

"Nick get the hell out of here!" Olivia yelled this so loud Amanda and Fin herd it even though the door was shut.

Nick walked out slamming the door behind him causing Olivia to jump a little.

Olivia felt like she was going to lose her mind. She broke down in the middle of the office and went to go sit and she called her old caption.

"Hey Olivia how is i-." Cragen stopped when he heard her crying. "Olivia what's wrong?"

"I can't do this anymore."

**TBC! Review Please Please Please. Whether it's good or bad it makes me want to continue**


	8. I'm Not Fine

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. My mom took my computer so I'm going to start using my school's library computers. In apology I will be writing you 2 chapters for you today!

"Olivia. What do you mean you can't do this anymore? You can't do what?"

"This promotion, being in charge. Taking care of grown-ups that act like four year olds who crave for attention."

"Olivia I promise that I will get better. They just have to get used to you being in charge."

"Captain I don't they need to sleep with each other to do that."

"What are you talking about?"

Olivia stayed quiet for a minute.

"Olivia what are you talking about?"

Olivia sighed. "Nick and Amanda are sleeping with each other and I don't know what to do about."

"Olivia you have to suspend both of them from the job for no less than 5 days with no pay. That is against work policy."

"Captain look." Olivia was cut off by her ex captain.

It killed Don to here Olivia still call him Captain. "Olivia I'm not your captain anymore and you have to live with it. Liv life is full of changes and you just have to live with them and get use to it. Olivia you're in charge of that squad now and there is no question about it."

Olivia got angry with Don's words. "I thought you weren't my captain anymore, therefore you can't give me orders. You left me just like Elliot and Munch did. Out of anyone who is left in this squad room I didn't expect you to be the next one to leave."

"Olivia they had tough cases and they just couldn't take it anymore."

We all have had tough cases. Hell, I was kidnapped and tortured for 4 days and two of the days you sitting on your asses doing nothing.

Don didn't know what to say. All of the words Olivia just spoke tore a whole right through his heart. "Olivia I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way but if anyone could do this it is you.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You were stronger than anyone in that squad room, even me."

"Please don't do that Capt- Don. This… I think has broken me."

Olivia, are you still going to your therapist?"

"Yea I am, but I think I have told just about everything there is to know about me."

"Olivia don't stop seeing him until you think you're ready. You of all people should know this and don't you dare play the I'm fin-." Don was cut off by Olivia.

"I'm not fine. I'm pregnant."

When is Olivia going to come out of that office?" Fin said looking up at Amanda.

"I don't know, you should ask Nick. He was the last to go into her office." Amanda said giving Nick a death stare.

"Excuse me AMnda, what is that look for?"

"You running your mounth to much." 

"Amanda what are you talkingabout?"

"You told Olivia that we were sleeping with ech other?"

"Because we did!"

Evverybody got quiet and Olivia could hear them from her office.

"Nick, I and neither doyou remember anything from last night."

"I do and you were drunk off you're ass."

"Nick if we did anythi-

Amanda was cut off by Olivia yelling her and Nick's name.

"Whatthe hell are you guys thinking?" Olivia said shutting the door. "You will not and I mean not bring you drama into my squadroom. Do I make myself clear?"

Amanda was taking back by Olivia's force.

"I didn't say anything Nick started it."

"Amanda for the love of God you sound like a four year old. Take responsibility and admit that you slept with the man."

"Olivia I don't know that I did?" Amanda gave Nick another death stare.

"Amanda, you admitted to me that you were drunk and you woke up in his bed. Really?"

"I don't think Nick was Drunk."

"Amanda what are you talking about?"

"Nick told me that he remembers everything from last night, I don't."

"Nick what is talking about?"

"She was drunk off her ass."

"If you had sex with her an-

"Olivia really? Don't you dare say that I raped her."

"Nick she too drunk to consent."

"Are you really framing me for rape?"

"Olivia don't take it to far." Amanda said getting a little worried.

"Amanda are you going to press ch-."

"You know what Olivia, I can't believe you think that I have the ability to actually rape someone. I'm done."

"Nick please don't make a dum-."

"No Olivia, I'm suspended anyway right.

"Nick I was go-."

Before she finished Fin came rushing in. "We got a Vic at Mercy. They said that she specifically asked for you.

"Ok, any information about the vic?" Olivia said getting up walking out her office door.

"They said she not giving any information unless you're there.

"Hello sergeant Benson. Who is our vic?" Olivia said holding up her badege.

"She is in here, she is asking for you."

Olivia walked into the hospital room and was surprised to see Brian's mom laying on the table for rape kits.

"Mrs. Cassidy, are you okay? What happened?" 

"Olivia you can't tell Brian, you have to promise me you're not going to tell Brian."

"Please tell me what happened."

"He came into to the bathroom and he t…t… told me that I…I better not talk then he ripped my.. my shirt off and h-." She broke out in historical cries.

Olivia walked up to her and sat on her bed and hugged her while she cried. "It's going to be okay. Everything will be fine."

"You can NOT tell Brian what happened."

"Mrs. Cassidy I have to."

"NO you don't, I don't want to put any more stress on him."

"Mrs. Cassidy I know it will be hard but you have to tell him."

"Olivia I will tell him when I am ready."

"Would you like me to call him?"

"No Olivia, I just need to get this rape kit and for you to take my statement."

Olivia nodded and left to go get the nurse. When they walked back in the nurse started the rape kit. By the time it was over she was crying hysterically.

"Can I get you're statement or do you want to wait?"

"I will give it to you now, I just want to get this over with."

"Okay, if you feel like you need to take a break at any time, please let me know."

She nodded and Olivia took out a notepad and a recorder.

"Can you tell me everything that happened today?"

"Well, I was walking back to the apartment and I was stopped by this man. He was actually very nice to me at first. He was asking me for directions to central park and I told him he was a long way from home." She let out a little chuckle. "I shouldn't have but I offered for him to come to the house for some tea because he said he was new in New York and everyone has been so rude to him. When we got into the apartment I went to the kitchen to make some tea and when I came back he had a gun in his hand with his pants off. He told me that if I screamed he would kill me. When he said that he looked over to a picture of me you and Brian." She let out a little cry. "Then he said if that didn't scare me enough he was going to kill both of you too."

"I'm sorry, I really am."

"No it's not your fault."

"Well it's not yours either."

"I shouldn't have let him come up to the apartment."

"Mrs. Cassidy, it is not your fault and don't you dare think it is."

She started off where she left off in her statement. "He started to walk towards me but I didn't move. I mean I started to think that no one would do this to a innocent old lady. By the time I got of my trace of thought he had me tightly in his arms. I fought as hard as I could be he was so much stronger than me."

"You did what you had to and that was surviving."

"When I just gave up he started to unbutton my shirt and pulling my pants off. After that my panties. He didn't waste any time and he stuck himself inside of me. It felt like hours before he left but I think it was only 45minutes at the most."

"You did great Mrs. Cassidy. I want to tell you that I might not be able to work you case."

"Well why the hell not?"

"I may be to close."

"Olivia please."

"I can stand with you every step of the way but I just might not be able to work the case."

"Ummm, ok."

"Well whenever you're ready I will take you home."

"I'm ready to go now."

"I have one more queston? Where was Brian during this?"

"He was in the bedroom sleep. His meds makes him go into to mini coma."

"Are you ready?"

"Yea, lets go."

When they got back Olivia was hit with a flashback from the crimes scene inside her house. Her new home that she got with Brian to get away from the crime scene in her old home.

"Olivia are you okay?" Mrs. Cassidy saw the list glare in her eye.

"Umm, yea I'm fine." Olivia felt bad that she still worried about Olivia even after she was recently raped.

Brian walked of the room running up to his mom. "Om my gosh, I'm so glad you're okay. Why didn't you come wake me up? I have a gun I could have protected from that bastard."

"Brian calm down and let her rest." Olivia shouted at Brian for being all in his mom's face.

"I'm just going to go lie down." Mrs. Cassidy walked to the guest bedroom.

When she shut the door Olivia and Brian started fussing. "What the hell you know she is a victim and you start balmming her for her attack."

"I was not blaming her I just simply asked her a question."

"Yea sure you were."

"Olivia why didn't you call to tell me?"

"Because she didn't want me to."

"Look, I'm her next to kin so leave her alone.


	9. Baby Come Back

"Brian what are you talking about?"

"You need to leave her alone, you should have called me."

"Brian she told me not to."

"Since when do you listen to victims?"

"Since the victim became you're mom!"

Olivia taken aback by what Brian did next.

Brian got pissed at Olivia calling his mom a victim and smacked her across her face.

"You do not call my mom a victim."

"Brian you called her a victim first."

"Olivia no I didn't and I don't ever want to hear you call her one again."

"Brian you simply said "When do you start listening to victims", you said that Brian."

Olivia tried to walk away but Brian grabbed her wrist tightly leaving a bruise.

"You get your hands off of me. Don't you ever touch me again." Olivia pulled away from his tight grip he had on her and went to their bedroom to pack some clothes for her.

When Brian walked into the bedroom he saw Olivia packing her bags. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving until you grow back up."

"Where are you going to go?" Brian said a little sympathetic.

"I'm not telling you and don't sound sorry now." Olivia walked out the door and headed to her car.

Olivia thought of the only place she could go but she didn't want to. She went to the all to familiar place. Her old apartment where she was tortured for two days and abducted from.

When she walked in she hit with flashbacks. The place looked as good as new. They gave her a new bed and entirely redid her kitchen and living room.

It looked beautiful but she still thought that see wasn't ready to be back here, but then again if she left she had nowhere to go because she definitely wasn't going to back to Brian.

"I guess this home sweet home for the night." She said to herself. She went to her bedroom and to her surprise they put a TV. in her room and she instantly hit with guilt for not coming back to this place after they redid it and paid for extra stuff she didn't need.

She got out some sweat pants and a t-shirt. And fell fast asleep.

"Good morning everyone, today is a pretty calm no cases and no paper work. That is certainly a first."

"So what are we supposed to do Sergeant?" Fin said looking up at Olivia with boredom written all over her face.

"We just sit here. Has anyone seen Nick?"

"I haven't seen or heard from him since last night." Fin said while Amanda acted like she didn't even hear Olivia.

"Amanda?"

"Nope… remember I can't make any contact with him unless it's about a case."

"So what is going with you two?" Fin asked

"That is something for you two to discusses some other time outside of work."

The day went on quiet fast. But everything stopped when Brian walked in demanding to see Olivia.

"Where is Olivia?"

"Hey, Brian calm down."

"I need to see Liv."

"She is in her office but I'm not letting you passed these doors until you calm down."

"Ok, I'm calm now."

"This way sir. She is over there in her office."

Brian walked over there and opened the door without even knocking.

"Bri, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Baby I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Brian I do-."

Olivia was cut off by Brian kissing her and couldn't resist kissing him back. Until the memories of last night came flooding back and she pulled away. "Brian smacked me and" Olivia held up her wrist. "And you left a bruise on my wirst."

"Baby you don't understand. It's not my fault."

"Brian how is it not your fault. You're in charge of your own actions."

"No, I'm not. I went and talked to my doctor and he said that the medicine gives me a short temper. Liv I'm truly sorry, please come back home."

"Brian I will have to talk to your doctor too because I'm just not believing you right now. What if I hadn't left you did worst then smack me, that puts my baby in danger. That puts _our _baby in danger."

"Please, I will stop taking the medicine. I just want you back at home. I need you, my mother needs you."

When Brian said that his mother needs her. The just blurted out of her mouth.

"Fine I will come back. But I'm not sleeping with you. Since I pay most of the bill you will be sleeping on the couch."

"Fin, that is fine with me, just please come back."

"I will, but for your mom."


End file.
